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Dr. Jen's Diabetes Diary

The Diary of a Diabetes Psychologist

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Archive for June, 2012

Sharing food with others has been a way of celebrating, bonding, and commiserating for centuries. However, one thing that doesn’t get talked about much is how difficult it can be to say no to people when it comes to food choices. One of the reasons you may be uncomfortable saying no is because you do not want to be seen as rude or ‘different’ because you have diabetes. Also, food can be a way of conveying love, care, and affection, and all these layers of meaning can make it even harder to say no. Here are my top three tips for asserting yourself.

  1. Acknowledge you are not being rude: Do this by simply saying, “thank you”. For example if your friend offers you a slice of cake, you might like to say, “Thank you for your offer but I don’t fancy any cake right now.” By communicating both parts of the message (you are grateful she is thinking of you, and saying you don’t want it) you can feel more comfortable and confident in what you really mean.
  2. Use ‘I’ statements: Can you sense the subtle difference between these two responses? “Thanks I don’t really want any cake right now.” and “Thanks but cake really isn’t good for me.” Using “I” in your statements subtly conveys you are taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. This allows less space for unhelpful responses such as, “Go on, one bite of cake won’t hurt you!”
  3. Recommend a more suitable action: Shape the behaviour of the person to whom you are responding. If your host is offering you some food you don’t want, you could respond with, “Oh thank you it looks lovely. I can’t manage any just now but I would like another piece of fruit/top up of my drink.” This has two benefits. You are enabling the host to be the host (hosts want to give you something!) and you are taking control of the interaction, not allowing their agenda to get you off track of yours. Alternatively, you can distract the person with, “Oh, not for me thank you; but do tell me about your beautiful/interesting [insert something you have noticed — flowers, painting, dress etc.].

If you are interested in learning more about how to gain greater control over your diabetes and the way it affects your life, then get your copy of my Positive Diabetes Home Study System. This easy to use guide gives you everything you need to immediately get more control over your diabetes, with a focus on helping you to implement new habits, build momentum, and create lasting change to produce the results you want. Life is too short to keep struggling on your own. I know, I’ve been there — I’d love to help you too.

You may use this article on your website, or for your own e-zine; however, there’s one thing you MUST include: Dr. Jen Nash is a Clinical Psychologist registered with the British Psychological Society. Dr. Jen helps her clients find solutions with simple and highly-effective psychological strategies to gain freedom from the frustration and stress of living with diabetes. To sign up for her free Diabetes Diary, visit www.PositiveDiabetes.com.

Woman Eating DonutDid you know your environment plays a hugely important role when you are trying to change your eating habits? In our evolutionary past we had to seek out food, so there was a natural delay between thinking about food and being able to consume it, now it is everywhere we turn! So much of our everyday lives are done habitually, on autopilot. Think of some of your daily routines — how you shower, get to work, what you eat for breakfast — nine times out of ten you do these in pretty much the same way every day. That is because our brains, as wonderful as they are, have a limited processing capacity and they are designed to create shortcuts to make the demands less arduous. Imagine if you had to concentrate fully on exactly what to do and in which order each time you had a shower!

Spend some time thinking about the ways your environment sabotages your eating goals. Perhaps you keep sweets, nuts, or chocolates on the coffee table and you find yourself snacking on them while you are watching television in the evenings. Maybe your route home from work is past a fast food restaurant that you can ‘drive-in’ to get something to tide you over until dinnertime. It could be you have many unhelpful foods in your kitchen at home. Therefore, when you are hungry, it is too easy, convenient, and tempting to reach for these rather than take a moment to think about an option that might be better for you. Think now about the different environments you find yourself in regularly that sabotage you, and make a note of them here:

Environments that have a tendency to sabotage me:

Environmental Triggers Rate 0 – 10 
   
   
   
   
   

Now you have a clearer sense of the environments that sabotage you, you can start to address them. Rate each on a scale of 0-10, where 0 is it rarely affects you and 10 is it affects you most frequently and most badly. Pick the one that affects you the most to start with, as this will have the greatest impact the quickest. Think about how you can change your environment to support you. Here are some ideas to help you:

  • Store foods you find tempting out of reach and out of eye sight (e.g., in the top cupboard of your kitchen rather than on the counter top).
  • Avoid buying the foods you find tempting in the first place, if they are not at home, it takes a lot of effort to get them.
  • You may want to find a different route home if the food places you pass are too appealing.
  • If you know a vulnerable time is the evening, you may want to rearrange your plans so you’re occupied. You could go for a walk or phone a friend.
  • In restaurants, you could ask the waitress not to bring you the bread bowl; or you could ask for an alternative option to snack on that is lower in calories.
  • Perhaps you snack while preparing your meals, in which case pre-prepared vegetables, etc., may be an effective way of breaking this habit (you can always return to preparing your own when you have shifted this habit).
  • Engage in doing something active with your hands, which means you cannot reach for the food. This could be doing your nails, mending or fixing something, knitting, playing a game on your phone, doing a crossword puzzle etc.

Remember, there are no rights or wrongs with this process. You are simply making small shifts to the habits you have formed that are no longer truly serving you. Treat it like an experiment. All ideas are good ideas at this stage and you can stop the ones you do not find helpful and keep the ones you do. Even if you do not make any practical changes right now, just the simple act of gaining insight into how your environment is hindering you is hugely valuable. It enables you to view your situation from a more realistic point of view — showing you the times when you are not at fault, rather your environment is. This helps you to separate some of your tendency for self-criticism and self-blame. At least if you do continue to eat the snacks on the coffee table, you are doing so with your eyes wide open. Knowledge is empowering and just the increased awareness can translate into different actions over time. List below your own ideas of how your environment triggers you and what changes you can make to help you.

Changes I can make to my environment:

Environmental Triggers Changes I Can Make 
   
   
   
   
   
   

If you are interested in learning more about how to use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to overcome your struggle with diabetes, then get your copy of my Positive Diabetes Home Study System. Life is too short to keep struggling on your own. I know, I’ve been there. I’d love to help you too.

You may use this article on your website, or for your own e-zine; however, there’s one thing you MUST include: Dr. Jen Nash is a Clinical Psychologist registered with the British Psychological Society. Dr. Jen helps her clients find solutions with simple and highly-effective psychological strategies to gain freedom from the frustration and stress of living with diabetes. To sign up for her free Diabetes Diary, visit www.PositiveDiabetes.com.